Bobcats v. Magic: a Giant Failure

Vladimir Radmanovic's 4th quarter heroics not enough to save Bobcats from another humiliating defeat.

Were it not for Ray Felton's enormous outing -- 6-10 from the field, 18 points, 4 assists, a block and a steal -- this game would have been over at half time where the Bobcats were down by 16.

Ray, in his perverse delight, decided to make things interesting by extending a 3rd quarter run into a push for the lead. But Raymond's burden was too much for him to cast aside, this time -- with his teammates throwing themselves into the arms of temerity and caution instead of blindly following their fearless leader Ray.

Boxscore gems and other notes:

1. Gerald Wallace, in his all his past heroics, missed two break away dunks -- one with no one contesting. This, alone, is nothing to be ashamed of. Even the greatest of dunkers and mesosphere hammerers fall asleep at the wheel on occasion. Going up against a couple of 7-footers in the post isn't exactly conducive to dropping sledgehammers on fools.

2. Vladimir Radmanovic proves himself to the fans --

That he's shit.

After the impressive 3rd quarter comeback by the Bobcats, Radmanovic proves himself to be a team chemistry killer with a botched layup, a cheap foul on Marcin Gortat, and a bizarre technical foul -- earned by him throwing the ball in anger for his own apparent pathetic play.

3. Benihanas is the new P.F. Changs.

I'll be honest. I don't know what the hell a Benihanas is, but James Harden, Sean May, and some dude from the Suns' Front Office really like that shit.

On a final note, Jared Dudley's kicking ass and taking names -- playing Modern Warfare Welfare 2:

Just got done with modern welfare game... That game is crazy.

Bobcats Lose; Joakim Noah Has Last Laugh

Bulls' Fans Remain Smug, Confident in Meaningless Win

Bobcats lose a nail biter as Bulls win by three late in the 4th. It's pretty telling how pathetic the Bobcats are as a team when they can't close out on the road -- going 0-3 this season on away games.

The Bobcats' loss was accentuated by the overwhelming e-support for the Bulls -- and the antagonistic forces at work attempting to disparage our beloved team. Twitter was aflutter with a flow of comments surrounding last night's unsurprising victory for the Bulls:

"My Bulls beat the Bobcats yesterday O so lovely!!! =)" - Nicki0927

"OMG Joakim Noah.. wtf?" - embizzle

"FUCK U BOBCATS!!! GO BULLS!!!!!!!!!!!!" - kathleenriot95

"bobcats aint nobody bull are nice tho!" - Beezy Da Beast

Boxscore gems and other notes:

1. Gerald Wallace's rebounding numbers are coming back to earth:

“When you can’t make a layup, you’ve got to find some way to help the team,” said Wallace, who came into the game shooting just 30.9 percent.

It's important to note that Crash should have never, ever, been in the mix throughout this season for the rebounding title. It's comforting seeing that he is capable of simply putting up pedestrian starting center numbers on off nights. Welcome back, G-force.

2. Joakim Noah and John Salmons playing together for large stretches of minutes bodes poorly for teams playing against the Bulls.

For whatever reason, as a tandem, Salmons and Noah in the lineup creates a strong positive correlation to more free throw attempts. I'm not watching any Bulls games, but perhaps they simply operate as an effective pick and roll tandem -- or maybe Noah doesn't crowd the lane as much as I think he does, allowing Salmons open space to drive.

Whatever the reason, the Bobcats had 8 fewer free throw attempts -- a clear deciding factor in this game's negative result.

3. DJ Augustin, once again, played like shit.

This honestly shouldn't surprise me. He's still healing up from the mystery ankle sprain. But pumping out Kevin Durant +/- numbers really should be something worrying considering he's supposed to be getting better as a sophomore player.

To finish up, Nazr Mohammed, team sage, imparts these words of advice that the Bobcats should so aptly follow:

"Work hard on your job, you can make a living. Work hard on yourself, you can make a fortune!!"

It's funny because Sean May quoted him before I did -- right after his stripper friend suggested that he should hang out at a strip club to ease his Salt Lake City boredom. Keep up the hard "work", Sean.

Preview: Bobcats at Bulls

-- Expect a loss.

The Bobcats are averaging 69 points a game on the road so far this season. That's only two games, but, fuck, 69 points is abysmal. Time to pray for Raja to have another career shooting night. Former Bobcat Sean May has the right idea:

if u kneel b4 God u ca stand b4 anyone

Augustin is day to day from an ankle sprain -- a sprain so minor that I hadn't even heard about it until today.

The good news is that the Bulls are down a player with Tyrus Thomas sidelined for 4-6 weeks from a fractured forearm. Apparently he broke it while doing a set of pull ups:

'He was doing some type of pull-up or something and kind of injured his arm,'' Del Negro said. ''It's just unfortunate.''

This is remarkably similar to Francisco Garcia's arm injury earlier this season -- where the exercise ball he was lifting weights on burst, leading to him shattering his wrist.

Without Tyrus Thomas, the Bulls will likely play Taj Gibson significantly more minutes -- a probable starter.

What this means is Gerald Wallace will probably have another absurd rebounding outing. Expect double-digit boards and lots of trips to the foul line for Crash.

Aftermath of the "ugliest game ever"*

"I remember some Nets players that had heart, Kenyon Martin, Drazen Petrovic, Aaron Williams, and more." - altoloman, New Jersey Star-Ledger online comments.

I realized my good fortune the other night while sitting in my living room, rolling the dice on starting Kendall Gill in the 3rd quarter of my NBA Jam: Tournament Edition session. At least as a Charlotte Bobcats fan, we're not haunted by the "hustle" and elusive "heart" stats that other teams' past players seem to have in spades. Having a clean slate, wiped of players such as Gill, Larry Johnson, Mugsy Bogues, and Alonzo Mourning is truly a blessing -- where our current players don't have to live up to the relatively high level of play of former Hornets' players.

As a Bobcats fan, we have no expectations. Our most prolific players are moderate successes, at best. We drafted Adam Morrison and Sean May. We walked out a guy named Tamar Slay for 9-12 minutes a game in 2004-2005 -- a guy who's biggest claim to fames are having dead links on his Wikipedia page and being cut by multiple Italian teams. We have no Kenyon Martin, Drazen Petrovic, nor an Aaron Williams to look back on and say "God damn, they just had that heart."

But, "heart" and "hustle" do have their merits. Perhaps there is a common thread among those three players mentioned in altoloman's comment that explains the origin of these values.

1. Aaron Williams:

HoopsHype writes: "Quite athletic... Works hard... Does all those little things... Rebounds, play D... An useful player... Chiseled body... Developed a decent mid-range shot... His best years are behind him."

What immediately stands out to me is "An useful player" and "Chiseled body." Apparently this guy is a fucking Roman statue -- a modern day Adonis. There's something magical about that, I'd like to think. The grammatical error just makes him that much sexier.

2. Drazen Petrovic:
Michael Jordan sums him up pretty well:

"It was a thrill to play against Drazen. Every time we competed, he competed with an aggressive attitude. He wasn't nervous; he came at me as hard as I came at him. So, we've had some great battles in the past and unfortunately, they were short battles."

They were short battles because Drazen Petrovic is dead -- not simply because Michael Jordan kicked his ass at every encounter.

Fortunately for Drazen, his legacy will live on in NBA Jam Arcade boxes which are rumored to be haunted by his ghost.

"Something weird was going on with the software, and to this day, if you have an original NBA Jam machine every once in a while it will just yell out "Petrovic!" It's wild." - NBA Jam Lead Designer Mark Turmell.

3. Kenyon Martin:

His nickname is "K-Mart." He called Mark Cuban a "faggot motherfucker." I could go on, but really, Kenyon Martin is the definition of a douchebag -- and it's really an interesting turn in this "hustle" and "heart" analysis.

The douchebag mystique is endearing as it, much like an explosive, driving point guard, draws the negative energy (i.e., defense in point guard's case) away from his teammates -- opening up an array of opportunities for them. K-Mart's douchebag persona is the ultimate "x-factor" in this 24-7 sporting news world. Perhaps some would simply see this as meta-gaming, but I see it as "heart."

What ties all three of these players together is their passion and fire, their chiseled biceps, and their filthy speech impediments (Martin stutters, Petrovic was Croatian, Aaron Williams is a statue).

The combined results of these three individual talents creates one, shining contemporary example -- Walter Herrmann.

You know what to do, front office.

*As noted by RealGM Bobcats' Forum Moderator FatLever, referring to the Bobcats' 79-68 win over the New Jersey Nets.